Tips for having “the talk” with elderly family members

Estate planning documents can be difficult no matter what approach you take. It can be awkward, emotional, and/or dreadful.   What most people do not realize is that is can also save a lot of future stress for yourself and family members. Here is a list of tips for discussing estate planning with your family members:

  1. Plan what you can

Create a list of topics and questions you want to discuss. Learn about the different documents so you can educate your family about them in simplistic, respectful terms. Come up with a unified message/plan so confusion can be prevented. Having options are helpful.

  • Choose the right setting

Get the family involved and find a comfortable, private place.  Make sure everyone is on the same page prior to meeting.

  • Identify key people

Gather a list of people you may need to contact for estate planning purposes. Ex: family members, attorney, doctor, insurance brokers, etc.

  • Use conversation starters to ease into the subject

Start with casual conversations, and then build to bigger, more decision-focused conversations. Be natural and empathetic.

  • Don’t pressure!

Allow them to lead the conversation.  Let them tell you what they want and what their wishes are. Instead of telling them what they need to do, frame it as a problem on your mind.

  • Be patient and calm!